For the past few years I have chosen a word that I want to reflect my year. I’m a theme girl so these words serve me well. I like the thought of having a theme for my year. The year that I first started choosing a word was for 2010–the year after I had cancer. My debut word was ‘courage.’ An apt word after living with the scariness of cancer. That word struck deep in my being. I lived out that word during that year. The pinnacle of my living out courage was driving over 7,000 miles–just me and my kids–to visit my parents. Many of you don’t know me in real life but, trust me, this was the hugest of huge things for me to accomplish. This took more courage than I thought I ever possessed. That trip was a God-thing for me, a pouring out of courage on a daily basis.
The next few years, well, the word thing didn’t go so well. For 2011 I chose ‘grace’ for my word but that word did not play out very well at all. Grace is not something that naturally comes to me. I have to work at it which, if you have to work at it can you actually call it grace? I think not. Anyway, that word year did not go well. The next year, well, I can’t even remember what my word was for that year so you know that did not turn out good either.
This past year, though, played out well in terms of my word choice. My word for 2013 was ‘deep.’ I even named my blog after that word. Deep has been my theme for the past year. I have delved into deep academically by learning that liturgy is not just associated with church but it is also found in learning rhythms. That was a huge leap for me. Huge. I also dug deep emotionally as I have been searching deep into me. This is hard for me to write about. Suffice it to say that it has come to my attention this year that there needs to be changes made. I need to change. The problem is that I don’t know how to make these changes or what these changes even look like. Which leads me to the deep spiritually. In order to make these changes, I have to wade into the deep of scripture and prayer. The year of 2013 has been full of deep. It has been a good year.
Now it is time to choose the word for the coming year. I would really like to just keep 2013’s word but I should probably move on. After much moving around in the world of words I think I have settled on ‘Be Still.’ There have been a few bumps that have arisen in my life lately and I have met them with anxiety and fear. I have reacted to these bumps in a manner of action, of trying to solve and flatten the bumps. I am seeing that this is how I react to most bumps. Sometimes this is a good way to react but mostly I need to fall back on trust. I need to just be still and let God. I need to combat the fear with trust and stillness–Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; He won’t leave you.–Deut. 31:6 (The Message.)
I think that Be Still is a perfect word(s) for me right now. Stillness goes quite well with deep. You can’t be still if you are not in deep. So I get the best of both worlds this year: still and deep. Oh, that sounds so lovely.